This was emailed to me and I have no idea who authored it so I can’t take credit or give it. Enjoy
SEC/Middle east comparison
ALABAMA : Saudi Arabia . Once a proud kingdom, torn up by fighting and successions in leaders. Surrounded by Iran and Iraq (see below), with a prick in Al-Qaeda hell bent on bringing them down.
LSU: Iran . Current superpower in the region but it will all come crashing down because they have a highly functioning retard as a leader.
TENNESSEE : Iraq . Got a bunch of history but the country as a whole is going in the tank and they will kill themselves off before it’s allover.
FLORIDA : Syria . Evil douche bags who will stoop to whatever level they need to win. No real history to speak of but thinks they are the cradle of civilization.
GEORGIA : Kuwait . Tons of riches and unrealized potential, but still vulnerable to Iraq .
AUBURN : Al Qaeda. No country just a movement of disgruntled fanatics who live to blow up those who are more fortunate. No other goal in life than to bring down the House of Saudi Arabia. Terrorizing the Arabians for 6 years is the crowning achievement in their history. Signing day was a major setback to the movement. They’ll be looking for a new leader soon.
ARKANSAS : Palestinian territories. No one really cares or worries about them unless they can be of some use (i.e. winning a battle once in a while against Iran that causes a bit of shake up in rankings)
MISSISSIPPI STATE : Qatar . Where the hell is Qatar ?
OLE MISS: Afghanistan . Not much going for it, but hot women.
VANDERBILT: Israel . Just leave them alone for God’s sake. What did they ever do to you?
:KENTUCKY : Morocco . Not really part of the Middle East . Has other things to do than fight (or play football)
SOUTH CAROLINA : Libya . Had a charismatic leader in a land of nothingness. Will rattle his sword but knows he doesn’t have a whole hell of a lot to back it up with.
4 comments
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February 27, 2008 at 11:54 am
MoonDog
Your comparisons are ironic, at least for me, as I did two tours of duty in the Persian Gulf while I was in the service. I’ve been to half of the countries you listed. I think the best comparison was between Vandy and Israel. Even though you did this in jest, you actually got that one as close to reality as you’re going to get.
You even bad-mouthed your own team, which is the sign of someone that knows, or at least feigns the ability to be objective.
I can’t believe I’m saying this but I may have to post a link to this site at my place – an Alabama fan – where are my Rolaids?
February 27, 2008 at 2:02 pm
picturemerollin
As I mentioned in the brief intro, I didn’t author this so, thanks for the positive comments but I cannot accept any credit for it. I did think it was funny, especially the Al Qaeda/Auburn comparison.
While I am passionately partisan to my alma mater, I also do not pretend it is perfect. There are certainly problems – Alabama has a long journey to get back to where its fans expect it to be. I do seek to be objective – even if I didn’t write it I agreed enough with it to post it.
Thanks again for checking the blog out and for your comments.
February 28, 2008 at 6:13 pm
3rd Down H-Back
Afghanistan doesn’t have any hot women, and the one’s they do have can’t show their faces.
February 28, 2008 at 9:16 pm
seanbrereton
I guess I’ll be stuck with Libya for a while.